Do you often hold yourself back from doing what you really want to do? Are you plagued by constant criticism? Do you feel that you are a disappointment?
These behaviours and thoughts can be explained by self-sabotage. Self-sabotage occurs when people doubt their potential because of the constant thought that they don’t have the ability to do something (Patel, 2018). The doubts come because of a person’s thought pattern. These thought patterns can be triggered by any turning point in a person’s life where they are consumed by anxiety and panic if they are not successful. Due to these thoughts, they prevent themselves from taking the next step to gain new experiences or achieve success (Hillyer, 2019).
Why this happens?
Humans are programmed to act in certain ways. One such way is the ability to protect ourselves. However, there are times when we are not consciously making decisions. We may assume that the journey may be rough and success is not guaranteed. Hence, we stay within our comfort zone. This prevents us from learning about our strengths and giving ourselves the opportunities we need to achieve greater success (Hillyer, 2019).
Overcoming self-sabotage behaviours
- Be Aware
It is important to be aware of your thoughts and emotions. Ask yourself why are you avoiding the task. Is it because of the fear of failure? Work around it by reframing your mind. You will not know how successful you can be or even know what you can learn from a situation unless you put yourself out there(Hillyer, 2019).
Planning is important. But it is also important that you do not overdo it where you are sure to fail. Give yourself time to learn and make mistakes. Take one step at a time and be comfortable with the idea that you do not have to know everything. This mindset will slowly minimise self-doubts(Hillyer, 2019).
Perfection does not exist anywhere. Nature has its flaws and so do humans. It is good to have expectations because that moves you forward. But it is detrimental to have high expectations because you are not in complete control of the environment around you. There will be times you will not meet your expectations and you have to be comfortable with the idea that it is alright and that you are doing the best that you can(Patel, 2018)!
- Hillyer, R. (2019). Overcome Your Patterns Of Self-Sabotage In Life And Business. Retrieved from https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbescoachescouncil/2019/05/21/overcome-your-patterns-of-self-sabotage-in-life-and-business/#3c6137066645
- Patel, D. (2018). 8 Ways to Stop Self-Sabotaging Your Success. Retrieved from https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/324900